As I was cleaning out my son’s drawers for the 3rd time in the last 30 days a few weeks ago, I was frustrated because I have to get rid of so many clothes that no longer fit him.  And then something said to me, “This is what growth looks like.” With a five-month-old who can now share diapers with his three-year-old sister, I have witnessed some GROWTH!  A lot of times we think of growth as what we gain, but we don’t realize it’s also about what we get rid of in our lives. You have to make space for growth, and that requires you to give up some things.  The growth of adding a spouse to your life requires that you give up your independence and self-centered lifestyle.  The growth of your education requires you give up some free time and usually some money to gain knowledge.  As John Maxwell says, “You have to give up to grow up.”  Yes, you will also GAIN when growing, but if you’re not aware of what you have to give up to grow, you may become frustrated or disillusioned along the way.

I have been on the leadership team of two different companies that have grown exponentially in a short period of time, and one thing has been true in both, we have had to be willing to get rid of things to grow – systems, processes, and while I would not say that you “get rid” of employees, sometimes you have to be willing to make hard decisions to give the company the best opportunity to grow by making sure that the entire team is willing and able to put in the work to get to the next level.  Maxwell also says in his book The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, “When you want something that you have never had, you must do something you’ve never done to get it.  Otherwise you keep getting the same results.”  I believe that is true in all areas of life.

In the third chapter of Colossians, Paul encourages the church to “Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him” (v10).  That sounds a lot like growth, right?  Verse 5 says “So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you.”  Then, verses 12-14 instruct us in the following, “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you… Above all, clothe yourselves with love.”  So, here’s where I think some of us in the church get it wrong.  Paul is telling us to look INSIDE ourselves to find things that need to be corrected, and when we look OUTSIDE, we are to show mercy, kindness, and forgiveness.  And this doesn’t just mean outside of the Church, it means outside of ourselves.  So we should show mercy, kindness, and forgiveness to our spouses, children, and friends, both inside and outside of our faith community.  I struggle with this because I tend to be critical as I try to perfect every single thing around me (Yes, I turn toilet paper rolls to the “right” way when I am in public restrooms.  If you don’t know what I am talking about, you are part of the problem.)  But imagine if we could allow God to work on the inside and we showed constant grace and love toward the outside!  Just imagine if people outside of the Church were to say, “Man, I don’t really share their beliefs, but those Christians are the kindest, most patient, and forgiving people that I have ever met.  I just feel so loved whenever they are around.”  I have a feeling that if Christians were able to clothe ourselves with what Paul mentions, that alone would bring about incredible change in the world.

So, what are you trying to gain, and what will you give up to grow up?

* I titled this “Growth series, Part 1” because my last 15 years have been spent helping companies grow, so I’m sure I’ll have more to say about it in the future.  Please don’t ask me how many parts are in this series or when the next one is coming. That is subject to a number of things, including how many times my baby wakes up at night and whether or not the three-year-old takes a nap.  So, it’s just too volatile to say right now!

If you are interested in learning more about growth, I strongly suggest John Maxwell’s The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth.